This December almost killed me. Between end of year work stuff (especially ahead of a month long sabatical I’m about to be on), prepping for a subletter and a move, holiday parties and birthdays, I was especially run down, so it was no surprise that I, once again, fell ill for the holidays. But, all these tasks gave me a lot of time to listen to audiobooks as I cleaned, packed, ran errands and traveled.
The Witch Elm, by Tana French 🎧
Genre: Thriller
What’s it about: Toby (my natural enemy if I’m being honest) is a charming (to some) guy with all the right luck: his family has money, he had a semi idyllic childhood, had a good time as a popular guy in school and has managed to charm himself in and out of trouble his whole life. After getting away with a fireable offense at work, he goes out to celebrate. But that night, his life is changed forever: two burglar’s break into his home, rob him, and leave him for dead. Toby is in for a long recover, and has sustained brain damage that has changed his life. He and his super nice girlfriend head to his ancestral home to care for his dying uncle Hugo in the hopes it will aid in his recovery. But when a skull is found at the base of the old Witch Elm and a police investigation is called, Toby is forced to confront the fact that his past isn’t what he thought it was.
Was it good? Yes, and so fun, but ultimately very silly. This is my third Tana French book, and what I love about her work is that the murders are almost besides the point. The mystery is in memory and human perception. Toby is a relentlessly unreliable narrator, in part because of his brain injury, but largely because of his own self perception and lack of awareness of how the world actually works for people who aren’t charming happy-go-lucky privileged white guys. While I ripped through this book, at one point I just got kind of exhausted by the twists and turns, and exhausted by Toby, who is, quite frankly, the worst.
Highlights:
I cannot express enough how annoying Toby is, however, it doesn’t take away from the enjoyment of the novel. He works as the driving force because everything is surprising to him, and he’s so focused on himself. Mans is so narcissistic that he makes a more than decade old murder completely about himself. Being unimportant is the worst thing he can imagine.
Uncle Hugo. Like, that’s it. He’s a bit saintly, but his full story is so amazing, and his love for his family and their old home grounds the whole book.
I whined a lot but it was so fun!
Just a Bit Bossy, by Alessandra Hazard 🎧
Genre: smut
What’s it about: Sigh, I’m so embarrassed. Nate is an aspiring game designer, furious that a corporation has bought one of his favorite games and turned it into micro transaction hell hole. One day, while protesting outside the corporation, he has a confrontation with Rafael Ferrara, one of the head honchos (I don’t remember his title and it literally doesn’t matter). They decide on a bet: If Nate can last six months as Rafael’s personal assistant, Rafael will remove the micro transactions from the game and write Nate a letter of recommendation. If Nate quits, he must praise the game in a popular Discord that’s been review-bombing the game. Rafael will do anything to make Nate quit. Nate will do anything to win, even if it means getting on his knees for his satanic boss.
Was it good? I…don’t know what to say. Every time one of Alessandra Hazard’s books land on Libby I’m sat and satisfied. I’ve written about her books before, and they are toxic, and problematic, and I love them. There’s nothing more I can say. I just wish I could read them outside of the few that appear on Libby or on Amazon (which I’ve been clean from for a year). Please girl, I will just pay you for a PDF for the full Straight Guys series.
Highlights:
I was very tickled by the premise, since it’s in my industry. But then at some point it gets into business and Rafael is from the Italian mafia? I don’t even know it actually doesn’t matter.
Be warned: this is a very toxic and problematic Haters-to-Lovers. Both men think they’re straight (lol). There is a power imbalance that may bother some.
Words of Radiance (Stormlight Archives #2), by Brandon Sanderson 🎧
Genre: High Fantasy
What’s it about:
The TLDR: The Knights Radiant are reawakening, but so to are a terrifying, world-destroying race called the voidbringers. Our various protagonists unravel the mysteries of their powers and ancient conflicts.
After the events of Way of Kings, Kaladin finds himself in command of the royal guard, unprecedented for a “darkeyes," especially one branded as a slave. He must protect his new commander, high prince Dalinar, and the feckless king of Alekhar from a number of conspiracies. He also struggles to master his newfound powers as a potential Knight of Radiance.
Dalinar is still reeling from the betrayal of his former friend, and turns to politics to try and unite the various princedoms of Alethkar in their ongoing war against the Parshendi.
Meanwhile, the scholar-in-training Shallan tries to carry on the purpose of her teacher, and prevent the rise of the ancient Voidbringers, who could destroy the world as they know it. She also must reckon with her own new powers, all the while struggling to face her tragic past.
Finally, this book features a point of view from the Parshendi. Their reluctant war leader, Eshonai, grows desperate as her forces dwindle, and makes a terrifying gamble that could break the world as they all know it.
Was it good? Sorry, I know that summary was vague, but again, these books are huge and difficult to explain. But yes, I’m totally hooked. It’s an epic adventure with personal and societal stakes, and out protagonists struggle with self-doubt, a lack of information and deep-seated trauma.
Highlights:
The way Kaladin pisses me tf off though…but it’s in the way you only get mad at people you care about. He just regularly makes somewhat understandable, but dumb, decisions. This book really hammered home how young Kaladin is, and his relationship with Dalinar and his son, Adolin, really humanizes him. Also, he and Adolin should probably kiss, but we have AO3 for that.
I really came to like Adolin in this book, though he’s kind of giving Elend Venture from Mistborn.
One of Shallan’s character traits is that she’s supposed to be exceedingly witty. It is not really working for me.
Phantasma, by Kaylie Smith 🎧
Genre: Romantasy, Horror
What’s it about: Ophelia has trained her whole life to take on her family’s legacy: Necromancy, a skill that’s passed down from eldest daughter to eldest daughter. But when her mother suddenly dies, Ophelia is still unprepared. Even worse, her family’s financial situation is worse than she thought. When her little sister runs off in an ill attempt to save the family home, Ophelia follows her to Phantasma, a deadly competition in a haunted mansion. To save her sister, Ophelia must survive nine trials, as well as the tricky devils, ghouls and other temptations wandering the twisty halls of the house. The only rules: Stay alive, and don’t fall in love.
Almost immediately, Ophelia meets Blackwell, a charming stranger who is more than he seems. He offers to help her survive the trials in exchange for ten years of her life. She knows she shouldn’t trust him. But as she navigates the trials, she and Blackwell grow closer and closer together, and soon, he is the greatest temptation she must resist to survive Phantasma.
Was it good? Yeah, sure, I had a lot of fun. The rules of the contest, and the world Ophelia inhabits, is inconsistent and sometimes doesn’t make sense. But if you love horror movies like Saw, Cube or Thirteen Ghosts, this is right up your alley. The trials and the monsters that inhabit them are scary and fun, and Ophelia’s devotion to her family is admirable. Blackwell seems hot. This was perfect to listen to while I cleaned my house.
Highlights:
The story takes place in an olden-timey alternate New Orleans. However I could not tell you the time period. It’s very confusing.
There are no consistent ghost rules, hence, you can fuck them. Cool!
There’s a sequel, where Ophelia’s sister gets caught up in yet another horror competition, which is amazing and hilarious.
Role Model, by Rachel Reid 🎧
Genre: Romance, Sports
What’s it about: NHL player Troy Barrett is having a bad year. He has just been traded to one of the worst teams on the league after a public falling out with his best friend and teammate over a sexual assault scandal. And, his secret boyfriend of two years dumped him for another man. He just wants to focus on playing the best hockey he can, and survive the year in Ottawa until he can hopefully be traded onto another team.
But his new team is weird: They all seem actually nice, even the charming asshole captain, Ilya Rosanov. Even stranger, they all are friends with the teams openly gay social media manager, Harris.
Harris isn’t phased by the standoffish Troy, and makes it his mission to crack his grumpy exterior. And as their relationship develops, Troy realizes that he may have a chance to be true to himself for the first time.
Was it good? It was as cute as expected! After I watched Heated Rivalry (which as a long-standing fujoshi, I loved), I needed more. I listed to Role Model on my road trip home, and it didn’t disappoint. It was wholesome and sweet, and while it wasn’t as spicy as Heated Rivalry, it was still fun.
Highlights:
I love switches :)
There are spoilers for how characters on the show end up, but I think it’s fine. I loved seeing Ilya as a sort of magical queer guide for closeted hockey players.
Book Ilya is hot too.
Harris is a bit manic pixie but it’s ok, because gay people deserve Disney romances too.